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Beyond Borders Neighbours Together

The learning process

The training was the toughest and longest week I remember spending at work. It was definitely one of the most rewarding in my life. At the end of the first day, I think I’m in the wrong place. I was annoyed that nothing concrete was going through and the subject was mostly toured. However, when I got rid of this frustration, I understood what this is really about. The intention was not to give us a list of topics where talking about war is easy and civilised. The point was not to teach us the right terminology or history. The point was to help us meet people. When I realized this, I got to meet people in a whole and different context than normal.

The contrast between these encounters and fates was quite something. One participants shared his own experience of war and being shot in a knee at the age, when I actually got my first game console. The exchange is freezing and motivating at in the same time. It makes me think seriously. I was quiet for almost the entire day. I listened, reflected and commented if I was asked. I felt like an outsider but maybe that’s why the amount of my learning was so big.

The training course

The How to Talk About War training was aimed at youth workers: the training provided practical tools for constructive handling of controversial topics, managing emotions, creating safe and open conversational spaces, and guiding difficult conversations. The purpose of the training was not to inform or discuss in detail any particular war.  

The training was attended by youth work professionals from 19 different countries: Armenia, Austria, Croatia, Estonia, Finland, Georgia, Germany, Ireland, Jordan, Latvia, Lebanon, Lithuania, Moldova, Netherlands, Norway, Palestine, Poland, Slovenia and Ukraine

Laura Lehikoinen, the Peace Work Coordinator at the Finnish Federation of Settlement Houses (FFSH) and Jorma Kettunen, who works at the Jyränkölän Settlement Media workshop, interview each other about the course's impressions. 

Laura: Jorma, what was the most memorable part of the training in Estonia?

Jorma: I don’t have one specific point for the whole week but the absolute change happened somewhere on a night in the middle of the course. We had been at a local tavern in the evening, discussing various things. From there, back to the hotel, I had time to think about myself. I thought about my own attitude towards the topics of war and conflict, about education and of course about the other participants. I also thought about myself as a learner and questioned my own weirdness. I wrote a lot of things down. I was wrestling with myself and next day morning I woke up with a whole new person. I’ve always been very different from everyone else, but I haven’t really questioned it. I questioned it now and that’s why this was an important moment for me.  

Laura: What do you think about the training, can you talk about war now?

Jorma: I don’t know if I can talk better or worse. I have learned that talking about war can mean so many things. I’ve probably learned in which situations you can talk about war and where you shouldn’t. And above all, it depends who speaks and with whom. I have also learned to openly listen to subjects related to war.  

Laura: What is still difficult for you and why?

Jorma: For me, the hardest thing is to understand different perspectives and how they are formulated. How completely different a view can be on something that is right and justified. Of course, I also learned this from our trip. My mindset is too schematic and that’s why it’s been hard to digest everything. Now, after I got to know people from different conflict zones, it is easier to admit this to myself and to say that having different points of view is normal.  

Laura: Why should we talk about war?

Jorma: I think we need to talk about war, so we understand it better. We should talk about it, so it  does not become a bogeyman who, by its mere existence, freezes conversations and actions. It is also important to be aware that by talking the topics, we can feel more safe, both physically and mentally. It is also important to be able to talk about war with those, who are victims of it. And what about you Laura?  

Laura: During the week, I also reflected on why we talk here mainly about war, not peace. Viewed from the content of the training and the target group, peace is still somewhere far away or there is no peace. On the other hand, often when we talk about peace, we also talk about war. Seems they are inextricably linked.  

Jorma: What moved you during this week?

Laura: There were colleagues and professionals in youth work. It is wild to hear what kind of places youth work is made and what kind of backgrounds the colleagues have. One of them said he was almost killed by a biological weapon. Another told about her close friend that migrated to the enemy country and became a stranger. Some of the colleagues have lost so many people close to them in war. Those wars never end for them, even if the battles are silent. There were many colleagues who do not really have a home anymore. Perhaps the most striking thing is that I am also a colleague youth worker in this group. My story continues from where the previous one left off. I’m not a helper, a therapist, a teacher, or a volunteer.  

Laura: What did you learn about yourself during the training week?

Jorma: I learned that the information does not always corresponds to practical experience. I learned that the conflicts are caused by states and big politics, not by people. People can belong to a group, but that doesn’t mean they are all the same. I also learned to internalize these in myself.

Several participants of the training course shared about their work and the relevance of the topics of war and conflict in their youth work practice.